Privacy Policy
Updated October 31, 2026
HateMyPOS is a parody website run by Illumination Lab LLC ("we"). The jokes are fake; this policy is not. It explains what we collect through this website, how we use it, and your choices.
What we collect
- What you type into the case review form: name, business name, email, phone, your biggest POS complaint, approximate monthly card sales and your current POS.
- Calls to our hotline: if you call, an AI assistant answers and the call may be recorded and transcribed so we can follow up.
- Usage information: pages viewed, referring site, device and browser type, and approximate location from your IP address, through the analytics tool described below.
How we use it
- To contact you about your free statement review and the point-of-sale and payment options we offer.
- To call or text you, only if you checked the consent box or called us.
- To keep spam out and to understand which parts of the site are useful.
We do not sell your personal information, and we do not share it with third parties for their own marketing.
Who we share it with
Service providers that process information on our behalf: our customer relationship and messaging platform (HighLevel), our form-processing service, Cloudflare (spam protection) and Plausible Analytics (website analytics). If you later choose a system or payment processing through us, we share what is needed with that platform's vendor and our processing partners to quote and set up your account. We may also disclose information when the law requires it.
Cookies and analytics
Plausible Analytics measures visits without cookies. Cloudflare Turnstile may set a cookie to tell people from bots on the form. The site works if you block cookies.
Calls and text messages
If you check the consent box, we may call or text you about your request, including with automated technology. Message frequency varies and message and data rates may apply. Reply STOP to opt out at any time, or HELP for help. Consent is not a condition of buying anything. We do not share your mobile number or consent with third parties for their marketing.
Your choices and rights
You can ask us to access, correct or delete the personal information we hold about you, or to stop contacting you, by emailing info@illuminationlab.io. Depending on where you live, you may have additional rights under state privacy laws, and we will honor them as the law requires.
How long we keep it
We keep inquiry information while we are in contact and for a reasonable period afterward.
Security
We use reasonable safeguards, including encrypted connections (HTTPS) and access controls. No method of transmission or storage is completely secure.
Children
This website is for businesses and is not directed to children under 13.
Changes and contact
We will post changes on this page with a new date. Questions: info@illuminationlab.io. A product of Illumination Lab LLC.